my tips on how to get through when it’s really over

“You can’t rush your healing. Darkness has it’s teachings.”

— Trevor Hall

Today we are going to be talking about getting through grief, in a sense, more more specifically getting through a breakup.

Break ups can be difficult. If you are going through a break up, you are in the right place because there are certain things we can do after a breakup to get our light and joy for life back and truly find the healing we need to understand the purpose of the relationship our karma and move forward renewed and refreshed.

So if you recently went through a breakup and clicked on this blog you are probably struggling to get over someone or heal from a breakup, and that is totally normally because some healing happens overnight and some healing takes time.

It’s time to reflect on the things that we know inherently but often forget. Do you trust that you are guided and you are on the right path? Do you believe that every experience is a valuable lesson that will bring you in closer alignment with the things that matter to you? Are you at peace with who you are as a person?

This are the things that breakup teach us. Keep reading to learn how you can move through this breakup in a healthy and healing way.

The Stages Of Grief

I believe the stages of grief, as outlined by Love Lives On, is one of the best representations of how we can see what our human tendencies are during a break up.

The first stage of grief is denial. During this stage we have trouble accepting that this is really reality. Whether you were broken up with or the heartbreaker, denial is the defense mechanism that we use to buffer the effect of loss.

The second stage to grief is anger. When the pain takes hold we start to search for someone to blame. You may feel guilty and can lash out at your partner or the people around you and have to be careful not to lash out.

The third stage is bargaining. This is the stage in which we question whether the breakup really had to happen. What if this person was the one. What if this person was the one? What if they just changed or I just changed? This is what we do when we are still adjusting to the reality of the breakup.

The fourth stage is depression. Not the major depressive disorder, but general depression that happens during loss. During this stage loss or increase of appetite, sadness, decreased sleep, and loss of motivation may occur. We are just trying to get back to normal.

The fifth and final stage is acceptance. During the acceptance stage, we finally accept the loss and realize that this is really happening. This doesn’t mean we are okay with it but we accept the truth of this ending.

The first thing we have to do when going through a breakup is allow ourselves to go through these stages of grief. Carve out space for yourself to feel anger, to feel depressed, and to feel sads. For some people this can take weeks, months, or days, but knowing these stages and knowing where you are can be super crucial to healing.

Journaling

If you’re feeling heartbroken, it’s because that person meant something to you, that’s a good thing, but it doesn’t necessarily mean this person is right for you. By taking the time to journal the good and bad things we can see things more clearly. If this person was toxic to you, or you weren’t completely compatible you can find those things by journaling it all out.

Work

Breakups are a great time to get to work. There is a difference between using work to escape and using work to create your future and focus on something positive when you are healing. Taking time to you and working on creative projects or that new start up is a great way to bring joy back into your life.

Friends + Family

Another way to bring joy back into your life is hanging out with friends and family. If you’re not up for that, even being around people is useful. You can go to a coffee shop and work with your headphones off, or go to the park and see if you make friends or just soak up the sunshine.

Finding Gratitude

Finding gratitude for the day is so healing whether you are going through a breakup or not. Soon, we begin to forget and even expect relief. We find a flow in our own lifes, through work, hobbies, friends and family, we return back to normal.

Final Thoughts

Though breakups can be painful, nothing that has happened in your life wasn’t for your highest good. There is no reason to think you should be over it or shouldn’t be sad about it. Emotions are normal. Allow yourself to express your full range of emotions and continue to care for yourself during this time.

Soon you will be ready for something new, but right now the focus is on you. So, what can you do to nurture yourself and bring peace, joy, and renewal to your life?

I hope you treat yourself a little extra and take all the time you need to heal.

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If you found this post helpful or have any additional tips make sure to comment them down below!

breakups