self sabatoge
+ HOW TO FIX IT
Self sabotage is a subconscious program that stops us short of what we really want for ourselves. In this post let’s identify the root causes and do the groundwork to prevent these patterns, for good.
WHY SELF SABOTAGE IS HOLDING YOU BACK
Self sabotage is when we start succeeding at something, or even believing we can succeed at something, and stop short of what we really want for ourselves. It can look like anything from trust issues in relationships, breaking commitments, failure to accomplish minute tasks, breaches in sobriety, binges in unhealthy habits, and self deprivation.
The problem with self sabotage, is that it all starts in our subconscious. This means that it can be harder to break than a single habit. It plagues us throughout our life and continues to evolve, like a virus.
I’m bringing this up this week because I’ve noticed how subtly these patterns of self sabotage can creep up and slow us down.
So if you’re ready to delve deeper into self understanding and learn the tried and true methods that have always worked for me, keep on reading!
WHY THIS IS HAPPENING
Each level up we experience a new hope + a new promise of success, but also bigger, and more complex demons. This is a trend I’ve seen not only in my life but in all of my friends. It took me years to develop a morning routine and healthy eating patterns, but now my struggles look more like holding myself back.
Well, why would I ever prevent my own success? I’ll tell you my truth, but the fact of the matter is, this is a soul work process. Meaning the reason that I do what I do is going to be different from why you do what you do. For me, part of my success involves putting myself in the center of attention. I hate attention. I know my calling is to get my message out there and use my voice to spread a message through word and song, but being social media famous, all the pressure, the threats, everyone in my personal business, that’s rough. Other areas of my life have other excuses.
When I say that self sabotage is subconscious what I mean is that it slips underneath the radar until it’s too late. The conscious part of my brain desires to spread a message, make an impact, and be courageous enough to put myself out there as the full me (in all my weirdness), but the subconscious part of me lives to resist any possibility of this. Some weeks this was filling up my schedule so I “didn’t have time”, other times I would quote the importance of “quality over quantity”, or how I wasn’t ready. Although I have compassion for myself during these times, I am happy I saw the pattern and can now push through, as excruciating as it can be.
“Success has nothing to do with how educated, attractive, or intelligent you are, but everything to do with how persistent you are in your willingness to succeed.”
— Unknown
HOW TO BREAK THE PATTERN
I’d like you, if you’re still reading to take a piece of paper (or open up a new note on your phone if you’re like me) and write down the top two things you keep telling yourself you want to do to improve your life that you are not doing in big bold letters. For example, “QUIT SMOKING” or “POST WEEKLY VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE”.
Take a moment, or even a day to think about this before you start writing. My favorite thing to do is go for a hike or walk to contemplate and stimulate new ideas.
When you’re ready, write down why you might not have been able to stay true to these things so deeply know will positively impact your life. For example, quitting smoking is friggen hard. It just is. It was created to be addictive and it’s winning. Starting a youtube channel is embarrassing and nerve wracking, especially when you are first getting started or have gotten your first negative reviews and comments.
We can often convince ourselves that there is no point even trying because it will never come of anything anyways. Not with that attitude, baby!
The truth is the only thing in the way of you being successful is you and you’re ability to release these negative thought patterns and believe in yourself. The only reason you have these thought patterns is because of what you’ve been through in the past, and the great thing about the past is that it’s over. Success has nothing to do with how educated, attractive, or intelligent you are, but everything to do with how persistent you are in your willingness to succeed.
Self development is a never ending process. You know this, and I know this. No matter how much we excel and improve there is always more we can do, so I need you to take a second to pat yourself on the back for even getting to the point of trying. There is so much wisdom and spirit in you that no one can take. It’s time to trust your gut in your creative directions, and, pardon my french, say, “Eff everyone!”
This is your life and your story. A lot of the times our messed up belief systems come from one of comments that we don’t even remember specifically, but still keep us from self actualizing. Release being concerned what other people think of you, and start thinking of the one person, or the millions of people, you could save and help if you truly spoke your story and spread your vision to the world.
HOW TO INTERVENE
Banishing these demons usually isn’t a one time thing. Maybe for you it will be, but for me, it’s been a constant exposition of the darkest and most obnoxious parts of myself. The only way to intervene with self sabotage is to approach every single day as a brand new opportunity for a personal revolution. Did that sound a little bit dramatic? I hope so, because the you of yesterday simply won’t do for your vision of tomorrow.
Once you get the confidence to put yourself out there, you will need the confidence to put all of yourself out there. Once you get the confidence to put the real you out there, you will need the confidence to lead.
It goes on and on. Building motivation, creativity, and resilience is something that happens naturally over time. You are either growing or imploding. So, take the time to recognize what drains your confidence and what builds it, who’s worth your time and who’s wasting it, what’s worked in the past, and what could work in the future.
We all have to deal with doubt, so remember to surround yourself with people who leave you feeling good about yourself. This is key, because you know some people aren’t ready for your success, or can’t even conceptualize your power.
IN CONCLUSION
You are not a regular human being. I am not saying that to boost your ego, I’m saying that because you were attracted to this post because you are on a mission to do something extremely powerful with your life.
The worst thing you can do is be self deprecating, and the best thing you can do is be a passive observer of yourself in your life.
We all mess up. I am never going to be a perfect person and I will never try to be, because every success I’ve ever had came after thousands of failures.
The key is to watch yourself, learn your ins and outs, your strengths and weaknesses, and continue improving.
Progress over perfection, every day, baby.
Take it one day at a time.
If you enjoyed this post or have any comments, questions, or advice for our fellow readers please leave them in the comments below! If you’d like to reach out and chat feel free to message me here. I would love to hear from you!
